His Girls: Reflections on a Life in the Making
by ZacFan18
Summary: Dark hair...twin sets of it. His girls: mother and daughter. Peeta reflects on how the beautiful scene before him became his "real."


**His Girls: Reflections on a Life in the Making**

SUMMARY: Dark hair...twin sets of it. His girls: mother and daughter. Peeta reflects on how the beautiful scene before him became his "real."

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hunger Games. The Trilogy of course belongs to Suzanne Collins. This is purely a work done for leisure and not for profit and no copyright infringement is intended in the use of these characters, their setting, or their situation. No copyright infringement is intended for any music, literature or other entertainment forms referenced within either.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was written for MalTease for the Hunger Games Spring Fling Fic Exchange for her prompt "The birth of a baby girl. Could be the instances that led to the decision to have her, her actual birth, or P&K getting used to being parents :) (Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark)" That said, I felt inspired seeing all three prompts and each of the other two, at least in part, worked their way into this as well. :) The others were as follows:

Peeta and Gale meet for the last time in the Capitol just before Peeta leaves for District 12. A continuation of their conversation in Tigris' hideout.  
Thom and Delly fall in love in 13 ... but how is their life after they return back to District 12? May include a toasting :)

Hope you enjoy it! I enjoyed all the feels while writing it!

Thanks to brookeyourselfsilly for being a great beta and providing a listening ear, helpful feedback and support and some inspiration for this fic!

* * *

Soft shades of orange filled the room, mixed with faint hints of pink, purple and gray. It was the palette he loved best, the glorious hues of sunset. Soon the shadows would form on the walls and eventually the light would fade entirely from the sky. It didn't matter. The only light he needed now was in that room, slumbering peacefully on the big, soft bed before him.

Dark hair…twin sets of it. Falling in waves against the pillowcase…because he'd unweaved her braid for her before she'd lain down, lovingly brushing out the tangles resulting from her earlier exertion. And the finer dark hairs of his newborn daughter's head pressing gently to the soft skin of her mother's breast, just brushing over it such that he wondered if his wife could feel the tickle of it. It didn't look like she was feeling much right now; she looked peaceful. It was a beautiful thing to see and well deserved.

His girls. He was still trying to process the joy of that knowledge. That this was his life now and it was so good. Katniss had been a champ during labor and delivery. So much more than that really. The mid-wife as well as Katniss' mother, who had traveled back for the birth of her first grandchild, had been exceedingly proud. He doubted anyone was prouder than he was though. Mrs. Everdeen was now resting down the hall in the guest room and the mid-wife had left a while ago, promising to check back in in the morning but knowing that the new grandma in the house knew how to tend to her daughter and her new arrival quite well from her own years of medical experience. Katniss had been nursing their daughter-they still needed to agree on a name for her but there was time-and they had both fallen asleep in the process. It had happened earlier in the day too and his mother-in-law had explained that in addition to the exhaustion her daughter felt from childbirth, breastfeeding also released hormones that would leave Katniss feeling more relaxed and sleepy, especially whilst nursing in the recommended side-lying position as she was. They had both agreed it was good though. They all needed sleep now. Except Peeta couldn't sleep yet. He was too in awe of all he'd witnessed in the last 24 hours. He was too thrilled, too excited, too on a natural high to drift off himself. So, instead, he sat in a chair next to the bed, keeping watch over his family. Family. He'd considered Katniss all the family he needed for so many years. Haymitch was part of that too, really and, by some extension, Annie and Finn Jr., Jo, Delly and Thom, and of course, Mrs. Everdeen by marriage. He didn't have any family left that were of his blood-not until now anyway-but he knew families could be formed in many varied ways and that the feeling of family was more important than actual heredity. Still, it felt really fantastic having his own actual family, his own standard familial unit.

And Katniss - she was already a good mother. She'd been worried she'd be otherwise but he'd assured her every step of the way that it wasn't so. She'd been scared, downright terrified at times, but from what he'd heard, most mothers-to-be were and if she felt it a bit more intensely, well, that was certainly understandable given her past. But she'd bubbled up with genuine joyous laughter at times when their baby girl had gotten crazy active within her rounded belly these past few months. And she'd taken to singing to her softly, the songs she'd grown up with as well as some new ones she'd learned in recent years. And when she'd held her crying, trembling daughter in her arms moments after she'd seen her take her first true breaths, she had almost immediately soothed her, cooing and shushing and rocking her in a way that seemed to come so naturally it was astounding. Peeta smiled, thinking about how light and perfect their tiny wisp of a girl felt in his arms as well. He was overwhelmed by his love for her and he knew he was so outnumbered and so in trouble now. The females in his life were bound to get most anything they ever wanted from him. It was just a fact he'd pretty happily accept.

He thought about who he needed to tell. They'd been cocooned in their own home, their own world quite understandably and would remain so for another day or so he was sure. But he would need to update folks who cared for them, who would want to know both Katniss and the baby were doing well. He'd have to think about that in more detail in the morning and start contacting people. And then he thought about one person who wasn't on that list, per se, but who would probably like to know. A memory from years ago surfaced for him then, as clear as if it were yesterday...

* * *

_Peeta was pacing the room. He was waiting for Dr. Aurelius to arrive for what he hoped would be their last meeting in the Capitol. Hope wasn't quite the right word-he held his breath, willing it to happen. He was wringing his hands so tightly he could feel the burn of it. Not that he was a stranger to burns...not when he was growing up in the bakery, not when he was singed in both arenas, not when he was held prisoner by Snow and not when those parachutes sent their merciless flames, threatening to engulf what he knew instinctively was his future. Who he knew was._

_Katniss. He didn't know what she thought about him, about them, about her life ahead now. He'd forced her to have one. He couldn't let her give herself over to the nightlock pill after she'd killed Coin. He knew at least as well if not better just how welcome an end might be. They'd both borne far more than anyone their age should. But when he saw her there, chaos around them but a decisive calm overtaking her, he couldn't let her succeed. He'd questioned his motives after the fact. Dr. Aurelius had too. Did he want her to suffer for her actions, to not have the easy way out he'd been denied? Certainly, some part of his mind still felt vengeful toward her-the way Snow had trained it to. But he and the helpful doctor had been training it otherwise, even before the assassination. He remembered how he'd felt when his hand went to her shoulder. He'd felt the worst kind of fear and devastation. He'd also felt an overwhelming surge of protectiveness and determination and he'd recognized it as what he'd felt before, what had led him to value her life over his own enough to fight, bargain, and coerce for it. Much was still unclear in his divided mind but both sides recognized that he had loved her and both sides acknowledged now that he may still. That he couldn't let her die, even when a deeper, darker part of himself desired it, was telling to him. It was the more deeply rooted him, the one that still embraced hope._

_So, here he stood, waiting on his all clear to go back home, whatever that meant now. But he was ready to find out and he felt he was ready to see her. He wanted to know how she was. She'd been kept in isolation from everyone during the trial. They'd been assured of her safety but he wondered for her sanity. He knew none of them had much of that left but he also knew they had to fight to keep it from disappearing entirely. He didn't blame her for her actions against Coin. Even if he didn't know everything Katniss did, and he felt certain she was aware of more than she had shared with anyone, he had made his own judgement of their would-be leader and deemed her at best a lesser evil, at worst a new brand of it. He wondered when she had decided to fire that arrow upward though. Was her agreement to the Capitol children in the final games genuine or a ruse to placate Coin and keep her feeling too secure and comfortable? Peeta had a lot of questions and he knew she was the only one who could answer them._

_It was about more than questions though. He found that he wanted to tell her things. He had tried to do so when she was on lockdown. He'd tried to get a few notes to her, just to tell her to hang in there and to tell her a few of the things he'd remembered, things he thought she would be glad he did, memories from a train that weren't shiny, memories of smiles and embraces that seemed real, memories of a rooftop and his fingers in her hair and a sunset. The notes had been returned to him by Haymitch who informed him that any correspondence could affect Katniss' trial and therefore, her guards were under strict order not to pass it on. He had the notes packed in his Capitol-issued suitcase; he'd give them to her someday._

_He looked up at the sound of the doorknob turning. The face he was greeted with was not the one he'd been expecting, though he probably should've been._

_"Gale," he greeted, not hiding the surprise in his voice. _

_"You heading home?"_

_Peeta gave a brief nod of his head. "That's the plan. Just need the final papers from Dr. A."_

_Gale nodded, gave a little grunt and crossed further into the room, taking up residence next to a window. As he stared out it for a long moment, Peeta studied him, saw the tension in his form, the hard lines. _

_"To 12?"_

_"Yes."_

_"For her?"_

_"For both of us."_

_Gale turned to look at him again and he continued, though he wasn't sure why, maybe just to hear himself say it aloud or maybe because he stood in a room with the one other person besides her who might best understand. "We protect each other. I don't know much else beyond that. I'm still deciphering the rest. But we need to keep protecting each other. I know that."_

_"So, she's safe from you now, then?"_

_Peeta didn't appreciate the skeptical tone but he understood it. "Yes."_

_"So, you're…better then?"_

_"Better than I was. Dr. Aurelius doesn't know if the flashbacks will ever go away though. Time will tell. But I can control them now, enough to not hurt her. He wouldn't let me leave here if I couldn't. I wouldn't let me leave here."_

_"I wouldn't let you either."_

_"Is that why you're here? To test me?"_

_"Do you need a test?"_

_"No, but I get it if you do. You guys protected each other too."_

_Gale let out a sad, quiet laugh. "Yeah, well, maybe. I don't know what we did. But that's over now."_

_"Maybe not…"_

_"No._ _It's over. If there was anything…it died with Prim."_

_Peeta wasn't sure what to say. He felt Prim's loss acutely for having partly seen it happen, for having good memories of Katniss' kind, stubborn, and wise beyond her years little sister, and for seeing Katniss ripped apart at the waste made of the life she had spent most of her own trying to preserve. And the man before him had promised to help Katniss in that endeavor and had failed in the worst way. Peeta had failed Katniss too - he had placed his hands on her neck and failed her dangerously. Still, he knew she'd valued her sister's life more than her own and he knew her former best friend knew that too. "With time…"_

_"Don't." The rough quality to Gale's voice was something he'd heard in his own since his rescue from the Capitol._

_"So, what are your plans then? You're not coming back to 12?"_

_"No. Plutarch and Paylor have a job for me in District 2. I'm heading there today."_

_"And your family?"_

_"They've already left 13 and been given housing in 2."_

_"Oh. Then, good luck to all of you, I guess. Have you told Katniss your plans?"_

_"No. And no, I don't plan to. She doesn't need… It doesn't matter."_

_"You don't know that. Maybe she should be the one to decide what she needs."_

_"Yes. I do. And what the fuck is your deal? Why would you want me to talk with her or come back?"_

_"Why are you here?" Peeta shot back._

_Gale held him in a hard stare for several seconds and then turned back to the window. He knew it was more than an impatient question. He got the other man's point. The baker cared for Katniss enough to want her not to lose any more than she already had - not to lose more people and not to lose more choices. He felt the same; he just knew what was already lost. "I'm not what she needs…who she needs."_

_"You didn't know what Coin would do."_

_"It's not just that, not that anything could have settled it more clearly. But she's already chosen you."_

_"What? How? She…there was Prim and then there was Coin. And she and I disagreed about the final games and I didn't let her take her pill and… She hasn't chosen me."_

_"She chose a long time ago."_

_Peeta narrowed his eyes at his dark-haired visitor. "She never had a choice, not a real one."_

_"Yes, she did. And you'll go back to 12 and she'll make the same one again."_

_"I don't want to be chosen by default."_

_"I don't want to be having this conversation where I have to point out to your stupid ass why it wasn't default."_

_Gale didn't seem perturbed by the angry look Peeta sent him. He only sighed. "Remember in the Quell arena when you tried to give her me or give her to me, however you were viewing it?"_

_Peeta nodded slowly._

_"Well, I'd say it's my turn but she's been yours all along and you hers."_

_The younger man was shaking his head a bit in disbelief._

_"She never would have been happy with me later, not truly. Look, I know your memories are foggy or maybe still jacked up or whatever, but…the way she kissed you…she never kissed me like that. And the way she looked at you after, before she went to sleep…she trusted you. You got in. Do you understand that?"_

_It was somewhat of a rhetorical question because Gale continued almost immediately. "She looked at that locket a lot you know, the one you gave her. Not because I was in it or her family but because you gave it to her and because it reminded her just how much you were willing to give her. And the pearl, I saw her with it at times, just holding it and staring. She held it like it was a piece of herself."_

_Peeta didn't know what to make of this information. He was touched and partly hopeful but he didn't want any obligatory love either._

_"She didn't know I saw her but I did. And…when she kissed me, I don't think she ever realized just how well I could tell she wasn't really there with me, that it wasn't me she wanted to be kissing." He averted his eyes then. "It's really shit telling you this, you know. But I want you to make her happy. So you need to know that you can."_

_"How?"_

_"Just love her like you have all these years. Help her. Be the one she can turn to. Protect her but don't stifle her. Let her protect you but don't let her lose herself in it."_

_Peeta couldn't deny that he appreciated to some extent the fact that Gale was validating the thoughts he had already been having as he waited and dreamed and planned for his return to his home, to his life, hopefully with her. "What will you do?"_

_Gale knew he wasn't asking about logistical plans. They had already covered that. "What I have to. It's what I've always done…to survive, care for my family, get by. I was selfish and my feelings for Katniss were real…are real. But we were also living a different existence and we were limited. We're not now and who knows what else is waiting out there. Don't worry about me. I have my job in 2. I'm going to do what I can to make sure that the rebellion accomplished all we wanted it to. I have a new start to make." He paused, an expression of amusement taking over his face briefly. "And don't worry about me. Ladies love a rebel and they love a war hero. And I've done enough time at the slag heap to know there are other things they love about me too. I'll do okay."_

_Peeta chuckled slightly. If this wasn't one of the most odd and awkward conversations he'd ever had, he didn't know what was. "Okay."_

_Gale nodded his acknowledgement. "Okay."_

_"Is that it? You wanted to give me your blessing?"_

_"Yes," he drawled, more than a hint of sarcasm taking over his voice, "Katniss' cousin has given you his blessing."_

_Peeta offered a wry smile to match the other man's own and then a look of seriousness took over his face again. "Gale…what's it like back there? In 12? I haven't…I haven't been since…"_

_He didn't need to finish that statement. Gale knew he had left with Katniss before the 75th games, never intending to return. He also knew that it was going to be hard as hell for him to return and see the Capitol-made graveyard of a district._

_"Have you heard anything detailed about it?"_

_"I've seen some photos, I saw the propo you and Katniss did, and Delly told me some things about what it was like."_

_Gale watched the sadness wash over the face before him before it inclined away and down. "I just…I guess I wanted to know what it's like now. Is it…is everything gone now, ready for rebuilding?"_

_Gale shook his head, sympathy in his expression. "No. Everything's not gone. There are…remnants. And clean-up is really just beginning."_

_"Ah."_

_"Hey, um, my friend Thom, who used to work in the mines with me, he's helping with the clean up and rebuilding efforts. He's a great guy and he'd be good to ask any questions you might have too once you're back."_

_"Okay. Thanks."_

_"Sure."_

_"Look, I'm…I'm sorry…for what he took from you."_

_Peeta nodded. "Thanks. Same for you. He took a lot from all of us."_

_Gale acknowledged this with a nod of his own head. "He did." He paused, considering his next words but knowing he had to say them. "All that being said though, don't let him win. Don't you dare hurt her. I mean it. Don't let it take over you."_

_The fair young man's attention was sharp as he listened to Gale's warning plea. "I won't," he said somewhat shakily and then more strongly, "I won't."_

_"Good. Take good care of her." Gale stepped forward and held his hand out. Peeta shook it, marking his agreement and giving his best wishes. "And take care of yourself."_

_"You too."_

_"I'll let Dr. Aurelius know we're done. He'll be in with your papers soon I imagine."_

_"Thank you, Gale," Peeta offered, while he still had the chance, "for everything you've done for Katniss and for everything you've done for all of us. It's…good not to live in Snow's world anymore."_

_"Yeah. Yeah it is." As Gale was pulling open the door to exit the room, he turned, looking thoughtful for a moment. "On the beach, in the Quell, you said she'd be a good mother…she can be. I've always believed that. And she needs someone to fiercely love, someone all her own, someone of her own blood, I mean. Get her there. Give her that joy."_

_Peeta was at a loss for words at that. He agreed of course. He had meant it when he'd said it to her that night. He'd given up on the idea that it could ever be his child though. But everything had changed. Maybe it could. He did what he'd been doing a lot of and nodded his head slowly at Gale._

_The older man's lips curled slightly into as much of a smile as he could muster. And then he was gone._

* * *

They'd kept general tabs on everyone they'd known over the years and they'd seen Gale from afar from time to time through his very public career ascension. They knew he now had a wife and three children and was doing well for himself. They had even all seen each other a time or two for some reunion and political activities, but it had been a few years now and Peeta realized that what he and Gale had both hoped for that day long ago had come to fruition. It had taken a while, certainly, but so much of their childhood had been stolen from them that it made sense to enjoy their time, to get that back a little, but mainly to grow into as normal an adulthood as they could manage. To grow separately and together. To heal to the extent that they could. He'd been ready before Katniss had but that had been no surprise. She'd sworn off marriage and children long ago and then she'd lost the one person she had nurtured most. He still had his own fears of course. He never wanted to strike a child of his in anger the way his mother had, though he'd made peace with her soul as he'd put other demons to rest over the years. He worried he'd not be seen as whole by them when they compared him to other dads, dads who didn't need a prosthetic and who didn't mentally vacate for a few moments every once in a while. He'd really adapted greatly though since the first, second and third times he'd returned from the former Capitol. And his children, he realized, should love him for who he was in total, and he'd dedicate his life to being all that they'd need him to be. So, he had come to terms with what fatherhood meant to him and just how much he wanted it before his wife had.

His wife. Purely because she wanted to be. Because it was real and continued to be real. She had transitioned into being married more easily than he would have imagined. But then, they'd found love that had nearly been ripped viciously away from them for good. Having gotten it back, there didn't seem much question about keeping it. Life was short, they knew too well, and they'd been blessed to get to still be living it. So, they didn't want to waste any more time being apart once they had learned to be together again and love and lust had resurfaced and taken root. Their years together, though marred at times by nightmares and flashbacks and intrusive requests from the new government or the media, had been good. Really good. They'd gotten to know each other better, they'd shared new experiences, and they'd nurtured the things that brought each other joy.

In the meantime though, others around them had progressed at a more accelerated pace. He remembered well some of the conversations that had resulted because of this.

* * *

_"You could just get her knocked up. We could probably procure a saline injection to replace her normal one with. Then, she'd adapt. She's a champ when shit is just thrown at her."_

_"Shut the fuck up, Haymitch! I am not…no! How could you even suggest?"_

_"Oh, loosen your briefs there, tiger. I'm just messin' with you. She'd castrate you if you did that and I wouldn't wanna hear all the whining that would follow then."_

_"Why do I talk to you?"_

_"Shit if I know. I'm just trying to mind my own business over here tendin' to my geese. But no, I always have to be the wise one, the mentor, the looovvve guru."_

_"Well, you suck at it. And you're full of shit."_

_Haymitch guffawed at this. "Oh, now you realize that, do you?"_

_Peeta grinned and took a sip of drink. "But anyway, I just, I don't wanna be a jerk. I don't wanna pressure her. But it has been ten years."_

_"Then, don't be a jerk. But you gotta keep tellin' her what you want, boy, what you feel you need. It may not mean things change, but you promised to be honest with each other. Don't stop now. I'm not the one you should be having this conversation with."_

_"Alright. You have a point."_

_"Well, imagine that."_

_Peeta stood, shaking his head, as he went to place his empty glass in Haymitch's sink. "You're such a curmudgeon, Haymitch."_

_"Filling my living room with big words isn't gonna help with filling your lady love up with anything else."_

_Peeta rolled his eyes and made his way to his neighbor and old friend's door. "I'll leave you to your geese and your own business now."_

_The older man raised his glass in acknowledgement and Peeta heard him chuckle and mutter "till next time" as he pulled the door shut behind him._

* * *

For all his strange ways of showing it, Haymitch did care and he did enjoy being needed. He'd seemed pretty excited that Katniss was going into labor too when they'd seen him the day before. Peeta would feel bad about not calling him sooner if he hadn't overheard him anxiously stop the midwife as she left the house, drilling her for information. Yeah, Haymitch could wait till morning too. He was rather surprised that Delly hadn't knocked down their door in her excitement. But then again, she did have enough to keep her busy with her own brood. He smiled, remembering how eager his dear friend had been to get started on said brood.

* * *

_"I heard she's been sick on and off all day."_

_"I don't think that's nerves, Julia."_

_"What?" Really? Sweet Delly?"_

_"I'm guessing that was Thom's impression of her."_

_"Both of you, shush!" Katniss hissed quietly at the two townswomen standing behind them as they waited for Delly and Thom to make their way from the new town justice of the peace to their new front porch. They were going to be living near the square, so they didn't have too far to walk. They should be here any moment._

_"We don't mean any harm by it, Katniss. It's just kind of obvious. Well, maybe not to you…"_

_Peeta watched the fire boil a bit beneath the surface of his wife's face. The women who were speaking were already married themselves with a chubby little toddler each that their husbands were currently wrangling several feet away. He knew she wanted to say something sharp to them, probably something about how it was obvious to her that not everyone knew how to properly use birth control, but as he watched, she took a long breath and refrained. For that and what she said next, he was proud of her._

_"It's obvious to me that neither of you actually knows how to be a good friend and neighbor. Today is Delly and Thom's toasting. Delly and Thom are happier than anything about this day. We are here to sing for them as they cross that threshold and to eat the delicious cake my husband made and to wish them well as they toast their first bit of bread to share over their first fire as newlyweds. We are not here to gossip." She turned and faced forward then, paying no attention to the narrowed eyes and huffs behind her. Peeta pressed his lips together to keep from laughing and squeezed her hand within his own, seeing the hint of a smile at the corner of her lips after he did so._

_Later, as they walked home after the toasting, he pulled her in closely to his side and kissed the top of her head. "That was really nice what you did earlier, putting a stop to the gossiping."_

_Katniss shrugged beneath his arm. "Delly would've done the same for us. Thom too."_

_"True," he agreed._

_"And it's nobody's business what order they do anything in. Why does it matter? We get to live our lives the way we want to now. We fought for that. It makes no sense to belittle anyone for doing that just as they want to, right?"_

_"Right."_

_They walked in silence for several more beats. "It's just annoying and it shouldn't even be because they are twits, but I hate the implication that I don't know anything about pregnancy or babies just because I'm not choosing to have any. I heard a lot of mom's and Prim's stories over the years. I probably know more than they do!"_

_"I know."_

_Katniss stared off into the distance as they continued to walk. "She's already asked you to make a cake for the baby's welcome, hasn't she?"_

_Peeta smiled. "Yep."_

* * *

Delly and Thom had been their closest friends in the district next to Haymitch and Sae. They had all watched their home build up around them again, taken an active part in making it happen. Delly had returned to District 12 about a year after Peeta had. She'd reacclimated, in part, by spending a good deal of time with her old friends. Well, Katniss had never considered Delly an old friend but that wasn't how Delly had remembered it. Eventually, Katniss called her a friend as well and meant it, and times like Delly and Thom's toasting day just proved it. Katniss and Peeta had also befriended Thom early into their time back in 12, so he and Delly had gotten to spend a good deal of time together. They'd known each other somewhat before but once back in 12, a true friendship had blossomed and then grown into much more as time went on.

The toasting occurred two years after Delly had returned and a year and a half after Peeta and Katniss' own toasting, their real one. Eight months later, Delly and Thom welcomed a bouncing baby boy into the world. Two years later, they gave him a baby sister and three years after that, they gave him a brother. Five years after that, they surprised themselves and their three children with the realization that they would be welcoming another gurgling family member. Peeta and Katniss did not lack for children in their life. They were called upon to babysit quite often and did so unbegrudgingly. Katniss was still not prepared for just how much involvement she ended up having with the youngest member of the family though.

_"Peeta...I...we...delivered the baby. The baby's here. Oh my gosh. She came so fast,"_ she'd told him when he'd shown up at Delly and Thom's doorstep after he'd received Katniss' frantic phone message when he'd returned to the bakery, following a trip to retrieve some supplies from the latest train shipment. She'd looked rather a mess and he'd been glad that he had learned to turn off his blood trigger years before, but what had struck him was the complete awe on her face and how proud and pleased she had looked.

After the birth, Katniss had taken more interest in this baby than in any of the others and Delly and Thom had wanted to name the baby after her for all of her assistance in her delivery, but Katniss had gently refused. So, they'd settled on Birdena, Birdie for short, the meaning being bright, famous little bird. Katniss thought it was a bit silly but she didn't mind. He thought she was even a bit touched, whether she'd admit it or not.

Generally, she would not. But she would admit that she liked making Birdie giggle and that her heart had fluttered happily when the tiny girl's first word had been "Katniss" (or "cannus" as it was pronounced by the tot). She would admit that she enjoyed spending time with children in general and that she wasn't actually as bad at it as she'd thought at times she might be. She would admit that at times she wondered what a child of their own would even be like or look like or act like as he or she grew. And she would admit that she did feel safer in the world in which they now lived and that her nightmares were intermixed with dreams that included softly sung lullabies and giggles ringing out across a meadow full of dandelions.

After Birdie turned one, she had told him she was stopping her birth control shots and they would just see what happened. That if it were meant to be, then it would be but she couldn't spend a lot of time trying to plan it or make it happen or she might second guess things or drive herself crazy. He remembered the night she'd told him the most amazing news he had ever heard.

* * *

_Peeta was working a little later at the bakery, finishing up a birthday cake for the Robinson boy for the next day. Katniss had surprised him by coming by and bringing dinner. They'd eaten and he was back to putting the final touches on the cake that would be picked up by Mrs. Robinson in the morning. His wife had gotten up and was busying herself rummaging through some of his decorating supplies. She returned after a minute or so and placed a brown plastic cradle with a pale pink plastic baby in it down next to him on the counter. He glanced at it distractedly and re-focused on the cake._

_"Oh, no, this is for Mrs. Robinson, for her three-year old, Ty. Mrs. Roberts will need the baby cake but she isn't expecting until next month."_

_Katniss laughed quietly and he continued his work. A few moments later, she spoke. "Chocolate and orange."_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Those are the flavors our cake should be. We love those flavors."_

_"What? Our…cake…?" He trailed off, looking up from the puppy dog face he'd just frosted and seeing the sparkle in her eyes and the twitch of her lips. He felt his eyes widen and his own parted lips start to rise as if they already knew the secret he would very soon discover. His gaze fell to the cradle and the tiny plastic baby again and then jerked back up to meet the grey eyes he knew so well._

_She nodded, her expression a mix of nervousness and contentment. The latter was winning out. "We're gonna need one in about 8 1/2 months. And since I get to do most of the work, I'm pretty sure it's fair that I get to choose the cake flavors."_

_He shook his head to clear it. Her words were momentarily jumbling and he wanted to be fully alert, wanted to hear the actual words. "Katniss…"_

_"Yes, Peeta. We're having a baby. I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father."_

_He knew he must look like an absolute loon because the grin on his face had to actually be stretched from ear to ear and his eyes must be popping right off of his head. It certainly felt that way. "You're...I'm...you're sure?"_

_"Yes!"_

_He swooped in then, hugging her to him, lifting her from the ground and spinning her around happily. Then, he kissed her-her lips, her nose, her hair, her hands. She laughed all the while, such a great sound. "We're going to have a baby, real or not real?"_

_"Real. Very real. Like I will probably throw up this dinner soon real."_

_He looked overjoyed and then concerned. "Oh…oh, are you okay? Do you need to lie down?"_

_A look of amusement crossed her face. "No. Not yet, anyway. But finish up because I will want to lie down with you later and see what comes first, my fatigue overtaking me or your smile taking a break."_

_Peeta laughed and pressed another long kiss to her lips. "I love you…and I'm going to smile like an idiot for the rest of our lives, I think."_

_Katniss ran her fingers gently through his hair as she held his eyes and her own smile showed no signs of fading. "I love you, too…even if you look like an idiot from now until forever."_

* * *

There had been plenty of ups and downs during the pregnancy, but they'd made it through each of them and found themselves here. Peeta looked at the clock. It was just shy of 9 o'clock now. He'd been lost in his own thoughts for the past 45 minutes. He knew he should get some rest. They'd learned that their daughter would need to nurse every 2-3 hours right now, so they wouldn't have lengthy rests but should take advantage of whatever catnaps they could. Besides that, he knew his mother-in-law would be in to check on Katniss' recovery progress in an hour or two also. He leaned back further in the chair he was on, not wanting to disturb either of his sleeping beauties by joining them. It wasn't the most comfortable positioning but given what discomfort he'd witnessed Katniss endure earlier, he figured he had no right to complain. Just as the thoughts in his head were starting to dissipate and his eyelids were growing heavier, he was brought back to awareness by some rustling on the bed and a soft sigh. He opened his eyes to see his wife staring down at the tiny head against her breast with a smile. Then, as if she sensed his perusal, her eyes rose to meet his and her smile widened further.

"You're tired. You need sleep too," she whispered.

"I'm okay. I'm just resting here. You go ahead and go back to sleep. She'll be needing you again soon enough."

Katniss nodded briefly in agreement. She was well aware of the demands that would continue to be placed on her body for some time to come. Still, she wanted her family together. They should all sleep together. It was how she and Peeta had always slept, even as she'd grown big as a house in recent weeks. It was how they kept each other together, kept the nightmares at bay, brought each other sweeter dreams. And she wanted that for her daughter too. Here with them in bed and just with them as she grew, she wanted the words of the song she knew so well to be true for their little girl. _Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you._

"Join us. Please."

Peeta looked back at her with love and gratitude. Of course he wanted to join them. He wanted to be as close to them as he could, always. Carefully and quietly, he rose from his chair and moved around to the other side of the bed, sliding onto it behind her. He inched close enough to spoon her but, he hoped, not to cause her any additional discomfort. He placed his hand lightly on Katniss' hip and she rested her own on top of it. She turned her head as much as she could without shifting the baby and Peeta propped himself up so she didn't need to strain to look at him.

"I'm happy, Peeta. Thank you."

His heart swelled with love and joy and peace at those words. "Thank _you_," he whispered back with feeling. Then, he gently kissed her lips before slipping back down onto his side behind her. After a quiet minute or two, he felt her move his hand and rest it lightly against his daughter's back. He smiled to himself, let out a quiet contented sigh and let his breathing slip back into the slow rhythm his fatigued mind and body wanted it to. He now held everything he'd ever wanted, everything he thought he'd ever need, everything most important in the world to him, in his arms.


End file.
